Missed Connections

School is back in session and that can only mean one thing, sketchy guys creeping on equally sketchy girls in the stacks at Fogler Library or any other random location across campus. While several of these stalker-esque encounters lead to Public Safety calls, for the select few these meetings instead are where hope and destiny collide. Here at Fill The Steins we feel it is our civic duty to use our massive network of followers to help span the elements of space and time to bring people together. It is on rare occasions such as this that we collect our members greatest encounters over the last few weeks and put them out in our very own version of Missed Connections

Big Booty BearFest Babe – M4W, 19 Years Old
It was hard to miss you from across the rec center floor, your backside looked like two halves of a watermelon placed next to each other on a spandex covered table. I knew this was a charity event to help little kids in need, but I was a little kid at one point and I was clearly in need of your charity. I slowly made my way over to your position in line dancing with your sorority sisters and waited for my opening. Just as I was about to make my move I realized that I was dressed as Gumby and you would have no idea who I was. I tried to make a run for the locker room to change but before I could one of your sisters yelled out, “look it’s Gumby!” I was quickly surrounded with no place to go as the girls smiled and laughed, it seemed like my chance had faded. But as your friends got back to dancing you came up and gave me a hug. I was floored, I struggled for words, but all I could say in return was, “wanna be my Pokey?” You looked confused and walked away to join your sisters in line, but I couldn’t get that buttermilk biscuit behind out of my head. Reply to this post with the color of my Gumby costume in the subject line and maybe you can be my Pokey after all.

Hairy at The Band Perry – W4M, 22 Years Old
On recommendation of my friend Jimmy I bought tickets to see Steve Perry’s new band at the CIC this past Friday. I was disappointed to find out that it was The Band Perry and not the former Journey front man, but my sorority sisters who came with me were still excited for the show for some reason. Depressed and disappointed I decided to walk around outside the arena and wait for the show to end so we could head back to Orono. As I walked past the Paul Bunyan statue I noticed you laying on a park bench covered in newspaper. I’m not usually one to strike up conversations with total strangers, but you had a beard that reminded me of Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top and I couldn’t resist. The scent of Southern Comfort on your breath brought me home to my days growing up in Glenburn as I listened intently to every word mumbled from your mouth. I was about to give you my number but my sisters came running over to get me so we could head back to campus. I’m hoping you have internet access and read this, if so please reply with the 80’s hair band shirt I was wearing that night. 

As always, you can submit your Missed Connections to us anytime at feedback@fillthesteins.com.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

About "Fill The Steins": A multimedia platform devoted to providing an informative, entertaining forum that celebrates "the college of our hearts always" and its graduates' contributions to academics, athletics, and popular culture, as created by alumni and students, for alumni and students. FTS is not affiliated with the University of Maine or UMaine System and does not represent the views or opinions of the university in any way, shape, or form.
Copyright © Fill The Steins

This blog has been archived

This blog has been archived and is no longer being updated.